New Paces and Phases

Alright, quick rundown of life. School ended about three weeks ago, so I am officially done with my last spring semester at USF. The summer session just started last week and with only two classes left to work on I am finding myself anxiously excited for the end, but incredibly nostalgic for my freshmen year. Everything is starting to pick up and the many plans that were set months in advance are beginning to actually become reality. I’m internally freaking out, to say the least. But there has been so much good in-between the instances of crazy panic.


ImageWith all that finished I focused on getting through finals week and went off to New York for about a week before the summer semester started.The best part of that week was just getting to see Danny and finally having a break, getting to slow down and decide where my new motivation was going to be coming from (aside from simply wanting to finish and graduate). That process was kind of difficult, because I wasn’t just thinking about what is driving me to get through the next few months, but I was and am trying to determine what my next project will be that is outside of school or work. I was trying to decide what the next good thing just for me would be. So after a while of considering what I would find the most enjoyment in I have decided that I want to participate in the Disney Princess Half Marathon next February. I wanted to run in it this year, but school was being ridiculous and I had not been able to dedicate the time to get back in shape to run that long of a distance.

I’m excited to have the time now and that Danny has agreed to run with me so that I have someone there pushing me and holding me accountable. It’s going to take getting back into a good routine and changing up what I eat, but obviously in the long run this is good for me. Not to mention the fact that there is an added bonus of it being a Disney themed race so I’m beyond stoked about that. I get to run with a tiara in my hair :) Yes, I’m happy.


I’m hoping to get to wear one of these adorable finisher medals and cross that line with all sort good feels. My roommate is going to be running as well so it’ll definitely be a team effort getting started with getting back into shape. It’ll all be worth it to get to come visit my family for that week and celebrate Danny’s 25th birthday since they’re the same week. I’m thinking if we can get enough time off Universal and IOA trips would not be out of the question. With the stress of applying to grad programs and getting ready to move after the summer, we really could use the break right about then. Again, this is just a plan. But I’m excited to see it through to the finish. I’ve had more time to myself with only two classes and a lighter workload, it’s given me the time to relax and get back in touch with looking for the good and not stressing so much over the bad. I know that there are difficult patches and that’s life, I’m about to make a huge move and while the thought of graduating has been simmering in my mind for months now…it’s still mind-blowing to think that I’m actually done. These are huge leaps and keeping myself grounded with happy thoughts, easy thoughts, thoughts that reign in positivity and good vibes is literally the only thing keeping me from feeling overwhelmed and crazy. I think all college graduates go through it though. The ones that say they don’t are lying. There’s just no way that a human can see all that I’m seeing, all the possibilities, the inevitable mistakes to be made, the endless decisions that will come our way and not have a moment of panic. Or at least an instance of hesitation.

Here’s What I’ve Learned

So, if you’re reading this and you’re just starting out here is what I’ve learned. At times you may think you have nothing. You’ll most likely feel overwhelmed, baffled, and stressed. You’ll find moments in-between where there is pure happiness, joy and sheer enjoyment. These few years will teach you how to make friends, lose them, drop them, or keep them for life. You’ll learn to love your enemies, they’re proof you stood up for something despite being challenged. These years shape you into whoever you choose to be. You’ll learn that people just suck sometimes. Some will try to break you, “fix” you, change you, “tweak” you, control you, and then some will simply like you for you. Because sometimes people are just awesome. I’ve learned so much here. Nothing is as you’d expect it to be, I can say that knowing that I certainly didn’t expect everything to be the way it is today…in a good way. There’s a plan. Whether you believe in a God or not, there’s a plan. This world cannot possibly be man-made because there are too many wonders, too many unknowns that if man had created it the whole world would implode. I’ve learned to have faith and trust that even when things seem at their lowest point they can get better. I’ve learned negativity is toxic, and that pessimists have no place in my life. I’m a blessed individual. I’ve learned this over time. But the thing I’ve learned most consistently and it has finally stuck over this amount of time…that I didn’t have to pay to learn in a classroom…is that I was and am never alone. I am loved, adored and endlessly spoiled with support by two amazing parents. I have two perfect and ridiculously wonderful brothers. Two best friends I couldn’t go through life without and despite the distance they’re still the first people to visit when I’m home. They’re still the first I call when I need someone to talk to. I AM NEVER ALONE. People need people. People will always need people. If there’s anything to be remembered from these past three years is that in those moments when I thought I had no one to turn to, the most comforting feelings were found in reading my bible, remembering being home, thinking of the family that loved me, and that with God I was never on my own. Image

And with that I am confident in leaving. As nerve wrecking as it seems, despite all the craziness that will follow, I am ready to start something new.

Thanks for reading,


“God is within her, she will not fail. God will help her at break of day.” – Psalm 46:5



A small bit of growth

I know that I have been a bit absent these past few months, but I promise I’m making a comeback soon. This particular post will serve two purposes. The first, to simply share a week long process I have gone through and the second, to spread the findings of that process.

This semester the capstone course that I chose to take was called Equity in the School and Workplace and the final assignment was to face a prejudice we may not have knowingly held. As I don’t particularly tend to think about judgements I may make towards others I found this project enlightening as I started to notice throughout the week that I have several thoughts that could potentially be considered prejudice. The main one I’ve always had, that made me want to actually learn to change it was my judgement against atheists. I have friends who don’t share in the same belief system as me and we’re friends nonetheless, but I know that despite that friendship I hold less regard for people who can honestly believe in “nothing”.

I chose to attack this from a friendship angle. I didn’t feel comfortable talking to strangers about something so personal and clearly it was most influenced by the people closest to me. I interviewed with 5 of my friends who I knew to be atheist and asked them to explain why they chose that belief system, or lack thereof. We had multiple conversations throughout the course of the week and the dialogue was always two-ways. They asked questions about my own beliefs and explained that there was no discredit for my notions and there should be none for theirs.

The best part, I think, was when my closest friend in the group I was interviewing who I’d known since about 10th grade told me that the reason he thinks I have a problem with accepting it is because I pity them. And thinking about that statement I realize I do feel some sadness to the idea that there are people who simply DON’T believe that there could possibly be something else after all this. I think it’s a nice thought to think maybe there’s a place more wonderful after we die. But again, he said, “And I think that the place is nothingness. That’s why it’s called death. Though, I wouldn’t mind the surprise.” I learned that the people I judged do not lack morals or kind hearts, they simply live a life based on the realities they can see and choose to believe those over relying solely of faith of a potential future. This project was interesting and I learned much from it. Not only did it change my perspective of others, more importantly it benefited the quality of my friendships.


Thanks for reading,


Playing Catch Up

It’s crazy that it’s already the middle of February. The semester is almost over and no lie…that’s ridiculous! Everything’s going by so fast and somehow dragging by at some points. But I guess that’s just how it is. The good stuff takes forever to come when you’re waiting for them and the rocky points in the week seem to last forever.

But to catch you all up with some of the good! I went to New York at the end of last month, got to see Daniel! The amount of traveling I did was absurd, but definitely an experience. Despite the constant transportation switches I must say I was quite proud of how well I could navigate through the city and get to Rhinebeck.



Overall, I had a lovely trip and enjoyed getting to take a little break in-between all the chaos. I realize that there is so much going on everyday that I find it hard just to keep pace with myself which is obviously frustrating and overwhelming at times, but can also be seen as an opportunity to put enough of myself into each day. The days go by faster when I’m busy and it helps me stay organized (ironically) with all the stuff going on at once.

Now…I want to talk about my new found obsession that I honestly can’t explain. I’m not sure why I fell in love with this movie – could be the music, or the simple fact that it was about love between two sisters – but really Frozen is a magical Disney movie. Pretty sure I’m constantly singing “Let it go” and now the soundtrack is in my car so I get to hear the loveliness on the go! Of course, I’ve shared the awesomeness of this cinematic adventure with the boyfriend and just about anyone else who is willing to watch. Like I said before, I don’t really know how to explain this new love but I simply wanted to announce it to the world! Because it’s been a delightful time :)


Finallyyyyy my last thought. I’ve been trying to think of ways to alleviate stress and maintaining a positive outlook on all things in life. So I made a list of things that make me happy and the one I wanted to put into action. I love helping people, making people happy brings me implicit joy. It puts a smile on my face to know I could put a smile on yours. With that thought in mind I was stumped thinking of ways to contribute to the lives of others in a simple and time efficient way so that it didn’t uproot my routine, but still fulfilled it’s purpose. That’s when Netflix saved me…movies are clearly a theme for me this month. I saw this movie called The Letter Writer on my home page and I figured why not? Watched it, kind of cheesy acting to be honest, but the message was great. This old man randomly picked a name and address out of a phone book every morning and wrote them an encouraging and uplifting letter and sent it their way. Then he wrote small personal notes that he would randomly hand out while he was out and about in town running errands. He gave them to people he felt needed a little spark to their day. Since then I have started writing a few of those personal notes a day and handing them out as I go around. Now. Let me just say, some react differently than others. Let’s face it, reality isn’t like in the movies, I certainly can’t find a phonebook anywhere around here plus I think the random notes are hard enough right now. But they’re quite fun to write and aside from one awkward encounter I’ve had they’ve been received well by others. :)

Small recap:

1. New York is wonderfuuuuul and I really want to go back and play in the snow soon.

2. Frozen has brought awesomeness into my life (the only true way a Disney movie can…through my heart <3 )

3. Writing notes + making smiles = happy meeeee

Thanks for reading and Happy Valentines Day!


“It’s not the load that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it.” -Lena Horne

“I want my mommy” and that’s okay

As I’ve mentioned before I work with kids. It’s basically my life. Most recently I’ve been working in middle schools tutoring and hanging out with 7th and 8th graders in after school programs. Now I remember middle school, honestly I try very hard to block out those 3 years from sheer embarrassment for my awkward phases, but I get flashes of puberty and remember the toughest part is dealing with growing up slower than you want. 

The kids I tutor are always talking about how they can’t wait to be in high and get to drive and get some freedom from their parents. Fair feelings to have at that age. I remember having them. It’s expected. But then I get to college and I remember that first year, heck! I remember that first month…and realized just how much my parents did for me. Believe it or not folks, milk doesn’t just show up in the fridge by magic. My dad went to the store and bought it and somehow got it into the fridge without me noticing all those years. Food is expensive and it runs out fast. But we don’t know that until we go to the grocery store the first time on our own and try to figure out what we need to go without this week to stay under $50. 

For me, it’s annoying to hear people at my age put down their parents. Parents who support them, give them a hard time to push them to be better and nag them to get back on track when they stray. There are people who aren’t as lucky. There are people who have parents that just don’t care or they don’t have parents at all. Because you see, there are moments where all I can think is “I wish my mom was right next door” or that “I could really use my dad’s help right now”. 

I”ve been sick for about two weeks now. It comes in waves. The insane weather changes have messed up my immune system and I have coughing fits for minutes at a time. Now, when I was a kid my parents would hover over me, make me soup, drug me up so that’d I’d get sleepy enough to rest so I could get better. But now…there’s so much to do and I’m fighting to get better every other day just so that I can feel well enough to go to work for a few hours then get back,  collapse in bed and try again the next day. 

Adults don’t slow down when they get sick. I can’t think of more than 3 times in my life I saw my mom in bed with a real cold. She was constantly going. Which is why I’m probably a workaholic. But I woke up this morning sicker than yesterday thanking God that it’s my day off and in the back of my head yelling for my mother to come in with some cold medicine and some tea. I laughed and thought to myself “how many people secretly call for their parents in their heads?” Lately, I’ve been doing more and more often. And if you do it too, I’m here to confidently tell you that it’s okay. Because real life is scary and hard and honestly just stinks sometimes. Things don’t always go your way and when that happens all we think of is being a kid again because in our innocence whenever something wasn’t going right mom or dad or auntie or grandma or whoever you had was there to fix it. Now it’s just you. Now it’s just me. Talk about heavy.

All in all, I’m thankful to have grown up strong. Even so, (as I take a pause to sneeze) I wouldn’t mind being 5 again right about now. I wouldn’t mind be coddled by my mother, or rocked to sleep by my grandmother or spoiled by my father, or teased by my brother. Because what no one tells you is that growing up isn’t all fun and games. So I want my mommy and that’s okay.


Thanks for reading,


Growing up is hard, love. Otherwise everyone would do it.” – Kim Harrison

Procrastination at it’s finest

Aside from the joyful fact that it is finals week and I would rather be doing anything but writing my research methods paper, I feel this lull in my productivity would be a swell time to address some concerns I have with the people of this world. Now this is from my own personal experiences just within the past few days and my lack of sleep may be taking its’ toll on my perception of these occurrences, but they’re questionable incidents nonetheless. Bear with me, this could get “ranty”.

1. I was at the local Starbucks, reading my Thucydides and enjoying a peppermint mocha, when this gentleman walks up to the register to order. I can’t remember his exact drink, but he requested it be hot not iced. His order proceeded to be made and for some reason came out iced. He didn’t get upset, simply asked that it be re-made correctly. Hot. The guy behind the counter apologized and re-made his drink. Handed it to the gentleman who promptly said he’d changed his mind and wanted a holiday special drink (seriously?!?!?). Over the top of my book I could see the guy behind the counter getting slightly irritated, but happily began to change the drink…again. FINALLY, the drink was made, handed to the customer, he walked over to the creamers and sugars to mix it up. He tasted it, made a face and goes up to the counter to ask for a change in drink I’m sure, but before he could get a word out a little boy (that I believe literally came out of thin air) ran in front of him causing him to tilt his uncovered drink all over the front of his shirt…there’s was too much yelling and indecent language after that, but I’d say karma was present that hour.

2. On a recent trip to Publix for some groceries, I found myself in the bakery section looking at all the desserts I could not purchase. Out of the corner of my eye I see a couple to my right, their cart filled with essential groceries and they appeared to be trying to add some cupcakes. The woman gave her last name for the order she’d put in and the baker brought this adorable creation of christmas goodness (it was cupcakes shaped as a christmas tree with the frosting connecting them all to make the actual picture). The woman seemed happy (duh, it’s cupcakes), but as she’s putting the cakes into the cart her pal there goes and says, “I guess I should tell you this now…I’m jewish.” Ohp.

3. This one is directed at every driver that has cut me off this month. For shame! Karma’s not having it! Coming home from work I see an overachiever on the road with 3 christmas trees strapped to the roof of the car. Now, I praise the effort, I just don’t see the practically. Anyways, Mr. 3 Trees goes and cuts 4 lanes of traffic and then brakes in front of me. Rude. My coffee went everywhere. God, however, did not leave me much time to get upset. Mr. 3 Trees hit the gas as the light turned green and lost his 3 trees. Doubt those were easy to pick up in the middle of the interstate.

4. And lastly, the true concern and complication I face. I am 100% against all those individuals who NEVER go to the library during the semester (or to class for that matter), but somehow decide that it’s right for them to occupy the space in the library so that us REAL students can’t use the space anymore! It’s like church at Christmas Mass. Everyone shows up to overcrowd the pews for all the people who go to church regularly! It’s unfair and absurd. I’ve been reduced to driving to the Barnes and Noble at the mall to bum off their wifi and abundant space. The issue? They don’t stay open late enough. I realize this won’t change, but I can say with absolute certainty that I will not miss this nonsense after graduation. Go Bulls!

So, to end on a positive note. Thank you to everyone that messaged me asking about my birthday! It was a good one :) Thanksgiving was a swell time, got to see my brother and spend time with my family while enjoying the road trip with Danny. We went a day early and got to spend some time with our good friend from Camp Ramapo, Alana, in Georgia!

SC2013a         SC2013b  The lovely people <3

happy21st Yay my 21st!

I’m super excited for this semester to be over already, I’m more than ready for a break! Get to go freeze my butt off in Colorado and then come back to the New Year with the family. 2013 is almost overrrr! Craziness! Oh well, time to get back to that paper. Good luck to all the students fighting through finals week! Almost done!

Thanks for reading!


“Happy is the person who can laugh at himself. He will never ceased to be amused.”

- Habib Bourguiba

Finding My Bliss :)

Big change that I’ve recently come to terms with in my day to day life…I’m supposedly an “adult”. When I go to my mailbox I get bills and advertisements and bank statements, the overage nonsense on my electric bill and school fees that never seem to end. Today I’m sitting in my room budgeting the payments thinking “when did this happen to me?” when not even a year ago I feel like I really didn’t have much else but school to worry about. Now, grocery shopping is something to be penciled into the weekly schedule (and I barely ever do it) so that I actually have at least two pieces of bread to put together. Due to this newfound stereotypical college student issue that makes me wish for my childhood to return, I’ve found bliss in the small moments of joy.

This past weekend I went to the football game with my roomies! These ladies rarely get enough of my attention any more, but when they do it’s always a good time. We’re so lovely when we’re together, despite the fact that our football team continuously lets us down  -___-

Image   (Amy, Me, Kinsey, Krissy)

I also find motivation to push forward for those exciting moments ahead. My best friend, Laney, is coming to visit me this friday and then my 21st birthday is this Sunday, I’ll get to see my her again and spend some time with my family in Orlando. Next week Danny (my boyfriend…don’t know that I’ve ever made that known) is coming to visit for the whole week! We’re going to the world showcase at Epcot as a late birthday celebration and later in the week we’ll drive to South Carolina to visit my brother on the Navy base. So many things to look forward to! Not to mention Thanksgiving is next week!


(Laney and Me, this picture’s from freshmen year but it made me smile!)


(Danny on the left, my awesome brother, Anthony, on the right)

Ahhhh sucky sister moment, just realized I never mentioned my other younger brother! The baby of the family and my favorite person to snapchat! I’ll be seeing this gem this weekend, as well :)

Image  (Gabriel)

So, basically I’m just trying to make it through this week. Wednesday’s usually the toughest, it’s the hump in the week to get over. But we’re almost there! Have a lovely rest of the week everybody!

Thanks for reading!


“I say, follow your bliss and don’t be afraid, and doors will open where you didn’t know they were going to be.”

-Joseph Campbell

Yayyy November!

I’ve been waiting for something awesome and grand to happen, but surprise surprise…life’s been pretty normal as of late. One exciting part was O-Camp (Orientation Camp)! I work for the Office of Orientation at my university, I was an Orientation Team Leader (OTL) two summers ago and I somehow keep getting roped back into working with the office every year. They’re THAT amazing.

This past summer I was in New York working at a camp and I didn’t really get to bond with the newer OTLs, so we have O-Camp, old OTLs and new OTLs come together to hang out, learn something new about themselves and each other. We had a bunch of activities planned, the best one was probably the fierce game of freeze tag we got going when the attention spans between workshops was getting low. Overall, the weekend was a success. It was a good way to relax and put aside work and school assignments so that we all could get to spend some time with pretty awesome people. So many new friends!



Recently, I’ve been trying to get through my hundreds of emails…and I do mean HUNDREDS! There was something wrong with it before and now that they’ve fixed it I got a swarm of emails all at once and there’s been absolutely no time to get through all 908 of them (now is the current total). Every time another one pops up all I can do is shake my head and laugh.

900+ emails…all I’m thinking is


The struggle is so real.

Otherwise, November has been quite good to me, my birthday’s coming up soon and can’t complain about Thanksgiving…all the food! The boyfriend comes down from New York for the holiday and I think we’re going to South Carolina with my family to visit my brother on the Navy base. So many things coming up! In the meantime though, I’ll be dealing with the despair of my youngest brother asking to drive me around when I visit next weekend…just got his learner’s permit, yikes! Despite the fact that I’m nostalgic for my brothers’ baby years, I’m happy to be getting to see the folks again, spoil my pup with belly rubs and loads of attention, spend time with my boyfriend and be grateful for what I hope is one amazing birthday. Happy November!

Thanks for reading!



I realized this week that I cannot do it all, so I choose to do what I can…fabulously.” - Clinton Kelly


Hello all!

I know that to those of you following me already, this page looks different, that’s because this is going to be a different page now. For anyone just popping in, my name is Nirmaliz. I’m in my senior year of undergrad at the University of South Florida. I’m studying psychology and minoring in political science.

This year is bringing with it many changes and each one of them starts with the changes that are happening within myself. I’m not much of a blogger and this is something new for me. Most days I won’t know what to write or how to say something. I can’t guarantee that my writing will always make sense, but I can honestly say that each day I’ve experienced in my short 20 years of life has truly been an adventure. You’ll see me reference “the struggle” and I’m sorry, but that’s my phrase. My struggles can be funny, I share them because they usually make me laugh. I firmly believe God built me with thick skin and a sense of humor so I could laugh at the nonsense that sometimes takes residence in the life He so graciously blessed me with.

I’m choosing to view this as a challenge. I write for myself all the time, sharing my thoughts is new, but we’ll see how it goes. Hopefully as you read you’ll come to enjoy my life as much as I do. The people, moments, experiences…they mean so much.

Until next time, thanks for reading.