Alright, quick rundown of life. School ended about three weeks ago, so I am officially done with my last spring semester at USF. The summer session just started last week and with only two classes left to work on I am finding myself anxiously excited for the end, but incredibly nostalgic for my freshmen year. Everything is starting to pick up and the many plans that were set months in advance are beginning to actually become reality. I’m internally freaking out, to say the least. But there has been so much good in-between the instances of crazy panic.
With all that finished I focused on getting through finals week and went off to New York for about a week before the summer semester started.The best part of that week was just getting to see Danny and finally having a break, getting to slow down and decide where my new motivation was going to be coming from (aside from simply wanting to finish and graduate). That process was kind of difficult, because I wasn’t just thinking about what is driving me to get through the next few months, but I was and am trying to determine what my next project will be that is outside of school or work. I was trying to decide what the next good thing just for me would be. So after a while of considering what I would find the most enjoyment in I have decided that I want to participate in the Disney Princess Half Marathon next February. I wanted to run in it this year, but school was being ridiculous and I had not been able to dedicate the time to get back in shape to run that long of a distance.
I’m excited to have the time now and that Danny has agreed to run with me so that I have someone there pushing me and holding me accountable. It’s going to take getting back into a good routine and changing up what I eat, but obviously in the long run this is good for me. Not to mention the fact that there is an added bonus of it being a Disney themed race so I’m beyond stoked about that. I get to run with a tiara in my hair :) Yes, I’m happy.
I’m hoping to get to wear one of these adorable finisher medals and cross that line with all sort good feels. My roommate is going to be running as well so it’ll definitely be a team effort getting started with getting back into shape. It’ll all be worth it to get to come visit my family for that week and celebrate Danny’s 25th birthday since they’re the same week. I’m thinking if we can get enough time off Universal and IOA trips would not be out of the question. With the stress of applying to grad programs and getting ready to move after the summer, we really could use the break right about then. Again, this is just a plan. But I’m excited to see it through to the finish. I’ve had more time to myself with only two classes and a lighter workload, it’s given me the time to relax and get back in touch with looking for the good and not stressing so much over the bad. I know that there are difficult patches and that’s life, I’m about to make a huge move and while the thought of graduating has been simmering in my mind for months now…it’s still mind-blowing to think that I’m actually done. These are huge leaps and keeping myself grounded with happy thoughts, easy thoughts, thoughts that reign in positivity and good vibes is literally the only thing keeping me from feeling overwhelmed and crazy. I think all college graduates go through it though. The ones that say they don’t are lying. There’s just no way that a human can see all that I’m seeing, all the possibilities, the inevitable mistakes to be made, the endless decisions that will come our way and not have a moment of panic. Or at least an instance of hesitation.
Here’s What I’ve Learned
So, if you’re reading this and you’re just starting out here is what I’ve learned. At times you may think you have nothing. You’ll most likely feel overwhelmed, baffled, and stressed. You’ll find moments in-between where there is pure happiness, joy and sheer enjoyment. These few years will teach you how to make friends, lose them, drop them, or keep them for life. You’ll learn to love your enemies, they’re proof you stood up for something despite being challenged. These years shape you into whoever you choose to be. You’ll learn that people just suck sometimes. Some will try to break you, “fix” you, change you, “tweak” you, control you, and then some will simply like you for you. Because sometimes people are just awesome. I’ve learned so much here. Nothing is as you’d expect it to be, I can say that knowing that I certainly didn’t expect everything to be the way it is today…in a good way. There’s a plan. Whether you believe in a God or not, there’s a plan. This world cannot possibly be man-made because there are too many wonders, too many unknowns that if man had created it the whole world would implode. I’ve learned to have faith and trust that even when things seem at their lowest point they can get better. I’ve learned negativity is toxic, and that pessimists have no place in my life. I’m a blessed individual. I’ve learned this over time. But the thing I’ve learned most consistently and it has finally stuck over this amount of time…that I didn’t have to pay to learn in a classroom…is that I was and am never alone. I am loved, adored and endlessly spoiled with support by two amazing parents. I have two perfect and ridiculously wonderful brothers. Two best friends I couldn’t go through life without and despite the distance they’re still the first people to visit when I’m home. They’re still the first I call when I need someone to talk to. I AM NEVER ALONE. People need people. People will always need people. If there’s anything to be remembered from these past three years is that in those moments when I thought I had no one to turn to, the most comforting feelings were found in reading my bible, remembering being home, thinking of the family that loved me, and that with God I was never on my own.
And with that I am confident in leaving. As nerve wrecking as it seems, despite all the craziness that will follow, I am ready to start something new.
Thanks for reading,
“God is within her, she will not fail. God will help her at break of day.” – Psalm 46:5